Supporting Your Neurodiverse Child Through Christmas: A Parent’s Guide to Calming the Brain and Easing the Overwhelm

The Christmas holidays should be magical, but for parents of neurodiverse children, they can also feel chaotic, exhausting and emotionally taxing. This is the time when:

Routines disappear…

Sensory overload is everywhere…

Children become dysregulated, anxious or even explosive…

Parents tell me they feel helpless, frustrated and sometimes even like they’re failing.

If this is you, you are not alone, and you are not doing anything wrong. Your child isn’t trying to be difficult; their brain is struggling to process a world that’s suddenly louder, brighter, busier and less predictable.

The good news? There is so much you can do from home to help your child regulate, calm their nervous system and reduce meltdowns, even during the busiest time of the year.

This blog will give you practical, science-backed tools you can start using today.

Understanding the ‘Christmas Crash’ in Neurodiverse Children

Most behavioural challenges you see during holidays come down to one thing:The brain becomes overwhelmed and loses regulation.

Why?

• Routines stop

• Sleep changes

• More sugar is consumed 

• Travelling disrupts familiar patterns

• Big groups → too much sensory input

• Excitement triggers the fight/flight system

• More noise, lights, smells

• Less movement

• Higher expectations

• Social pressure

For a neurotypical child, this is manageable. For a neurodiverse child, this can push their nervous system into:

• sensory overload

• emotional shutdown

• meltdowns

• hyperactivity

• increased stimming

• aggression

• anxiety

• withdrawal

It’s important to remember these are brain-based reactions, not ‘misbehaviour’. Your child is simply overwhelmed, not naughty.

Start With the Foundation: Regulating the Nervous System

You cannot reason with, discipline or negotiate with a dysregulated child.The nervous system must calm first. 

Here are simple ways to calm the lower brain (the survival system) so the higher brain (thinking, language, self-control) can come back online.

🪵 1. Deep Pressure (“Heavy Work”)

Deep pressure is one of the fastest, most effective ways to calm a dysregulated child.

To help your child, try:

• bear hugs

• Squeezing their arms/legs

• rolling them tightly in a blanket

• pushing furniture

• carrying weighted objects

• lying under couch cushions “sandwich style”

• using a weighted blanket

• kneading playdough or putty

Deep pressure activates the proprioceptive system → which turns down the fight-or-flight centre. The result? Instant calm without saying a word.

2. Regulate Breath (But Don’t Force It)

Neurodiverse children often cannot tolerate slow breathing exercises, and that’s okay. Instead, try:

• blowing bubbles

• blowing a cotton ball across a table

• blowing into a straw

• pretending to blow out candles

• humming (stimulates vagus nerve)

For them, breathwork should be playful, not pressured.

3. Use Sound to Regulate the Brain

Calming music can instantly shift brainwaves.

For calming overstimulation:

✔ Gentle instrumental music

✔ Slow rhythm (60–70 beats/min)

✔ Nature sounds

✔ Lullabies

✔ “Liquid Mind” or classical strings

For left-brain activation (children who get chaotic or scattered):✔ Mozart✔ Bach✔ Simple piano playlists

Avoid: loud rhythms, chaotic TV background noise.

4. Use Smell to Calm (This Works FAST)

The olfactory system connects directly to the emotional brain.

To calm overwhelm (right hemisphere):

✔ Lavender (don’t use in nostril, diffuse in room)

✔ Vanilla

✔ Sandalwood

✔ Chamomile

To increase focus or reduce brain fog:

✔ Rosemary

✔ Lemon

✔ Peppermint

A quick sniff under the appropriate nostril can shift a meltdown trajectory faster than speaking.

Note: For all your parent programs moving forward, you now use smell in the correct nostril depending on which hemisphere you’re activating.

5. Sensory “Reset” Using Hands, Feet & Vibration

For dysregulated children:

• rub their hands firmly

• massage their feet

• apply vibration (like Rezzimax or a small massager) to hands/feet

• tap their shoulders

• place hands on their back (warm pressure)

Bottom-up sensory input tells the nervous system:“You’re safe. You can come down now.”

6. Reduce Demands When Overwhelm Is High

During holidays, children are expected to:

• sit longer

• behave better

• socialise more

• tolerate long dinners

• speak politely

• meet relatives

• attend busy events

But what their nervous system actually needs is:

• more breaks

• more movement

• more sensory time

• fewer instructions

• shorter expectations

• smaller groups

• predictable structure

Give your child permission to step out, to reset, to take space. This is not ‘giving in’. Instead, it’s supporting the brain they have right now.

7. Go Back to The Foundation of Brain Development

If your child is melting down, regressing, or struggling more than usual, it’s almost always because their lower-level brain systems are overwhelmed.

You can help them by strengthening:

✔ Reflex integration

✔ Balance & vestibular activation

✔ Sensory regulation

✔ Core & midline connection

✔ Cranial nerve/vagus stimulation

✔ Hemisphere balancing

Doing just a few minutes per day can shift the entire direction of their behaviour and emotional capacity.

If you follow my work, you already know:

You cannot change behaviour from the top-down.You must change the brain from the bottom-up.

8. Don’t Forget YOUR Nervous System

Don’t forget that your child co-regulates through you. If you’re overwhelmed, stressed or moving too quickly, their nervous system mirrors yours.

Try:

• stepping out of the room for 10 seconds

• breathing slowly once or twice

• unclenching your jaw

• lowering your voice

• slowing your movements

Just regulating yourself can sometimes stop a meltdown before it escalates.

You matter in this process, you are the anchor.

Give Yourself Permission To Do Less, Not More

Christmas does not need to be perfect, overstimulating or rigid, or packed full of activities. 

For many of us, it’s better for Christmas to be quiet and slow, predictable and peaceful.

Remember, you have nothing to prove as a parent. Your child doesn’t need a Pinterest holiday — they need you regulated, them regulated, and a home environment where their brain can breathe.

There Is So Much You Can Do this Christmas

If your child is struggling it is not your fault, nor is it their fault. It is the brain asking for help.

And the beautiful thing about the brain is: It can change. It can grow. It can heal.

Every time you use sensory tools…

Every time you regulate instead of react…

Every time you offer deep pressure…

Every time you choose connection over correction…

You are shaping your child’s brain in the right direction.

You're doing so much more than you realise.

And you’re not alone: I'm right here with you on this journey.