“Why Isn’t My Child Talking?” Understanding Speech Delay, Motor Development, Reflexes, and the Gut–Brain Connection

One of the most distressing questions parents ask is: “My child understands me but they’re not talking. Why?” or “Why is my child delayed in speech and movement?”

In answer to such questions, parents are often told:

• “They’ll grow out of it”

• “Some children simply talk later”

• “It’s behavioural”

• “It’s just a speech issue”

However, for many children, especially those with developmental delays, autism, ADHD or sensory processing differences, speech delay is not just a language problem. It is very often a motor and neurological development issue.

Speech Is a Motor Skill First

Before a child can speak, their brain and body must be able to:

• Control posture and keep their head stable

• Coordinate breathing

• Stabilise the jaw

• Isolate tongue and lip movements

• Integrate reflexes that involve the mouth, neck, and body

Did you know speech is one of the most complex motor tasks the brain performs? If foundational motor systems are immature, speech may be delayed, even when understanding and intelligence are intact.

This is why many children who are not talking are also:

• Late to crawl, sit or walk

• Uncoordinated or floppy

• Struggling with their balance

• Avoiding certain activities or tiring easily

• Sensory sensitive or easily overwhelmed

These are not separate problems, they are connected.

The Role of the Brain Stem in Speech and Movement

The brain stem is the foundation for both motor development and speech. It controls:

• Muscle tone

• Reflexes

• Breathing patterns

• Oral motor coordination

• Sensory processing

• Regulation and arousal

If the brain stem is underdeveloped or overloaded, higher-level skills like speech cannot organise efficiently. This is why focusing only on words, pictures, or repetition may not be enough.

Retained Primitive Reflexes and Speech Delay

Primitive reflexes are automatic movement patterns present in infancy. They help babies survive and develop, but they must integrate for voluntary movement and speech to emerge.

When primitive reflexes are retained, they can interfere with:

• Head and neck control

• Jaw stability

• Tongue movement

• Breath control

• Cross-body coordination

• Motor planning

Reflexes commonly linked to speech and motor delays include:

• Moro

• ATNR

• STNR

• Rooting

• Palmar grasp

A retained Rooting reflex, for example, can interfere with mouth control. Retained postural reflexes can destabilise the body, making speech effortful and exhausting.

A child cannot build speech on an unstable motor foundation.

Why Missed Motor Milestones Matter

Crawling, rolling, sitting, and walking are not just physical milestones: they are neurological organisers. When someone stays active, the brain:

• Builds coordination between hemispheres

• Integrates reflexes

• Strengthens postural control

• Organises sensory input

• Prepares the system for speech and learning

When motor milestones are skipped, delayed or poorly integrated, speech development may also stall. This is why children who don’t crawl, or crawl asymmetrically, often present later with speech and regulation difficulties.

The Gut–Brain Connection: Why Diet Matters

Many parents are surprised to learn that gut health can influence speech and motor development. The gut and brain are deeply connected through:

• The vagus nerve

• Immune signalling

• Neurotransmitter production

• Inflammation pathways

For some children, gluten and dairy contribute to:

• Gut inflammation or dysbiosis

• Poor nutrient absorption

• Increased neurological stress

• Heightened sensory reactivity

A stressed gut can place additional load on an already immature nervous system, making speech and motor development harder.

Removing gluten and dairy does not “cause” speech to emerge, but for some children it can:

• Reduce inflammation

• Improve regulation

• Support brain–body communication

• Create better conditions for development

This is not about diet trends. It is about reducing physiological stress in sensitive systems.

Why Speech Therapy Alone May Not Be Enough

Speech therapy is valuable; but when foundational systems are immature, it may feel like pushing uphill.

If reflexes are retained, motor control is unstable, and the nervous system is overloaded, the brain may not be ready to organise speech, no matter how much practice is offered.

This is why some children:

• Say words briefly, then lose them

• Speak only under low stress

• Plateau despite therapy

• Understand everything but cannot express it

The issue is not motivation or your child’s intelligence: it is neurological readiness.

Supporting Speech Through Foundational Brain Development

A foundational neurodevelopmental approach focuses on:

• Integrating retained primitive reflexes

• Supporting brain stem maturity

• Strengthening postural and motor control

• Improving hemispheric balance

• Reducing nervous system stress

• Supporting gut health where appropriate

When the foundation improves, speech often becomes more accessible.

As a parent, you may notice:

• Increased sounds or vocal play

• Better breath control

• Improved eye contact

• Greater motor confidence

• Emerging words or attempts

Speech does not need to be forced when the system is ready.

If your child is not talking, it does not mean:

• They are not trying

• They are not intelligent

• You have failed them

It often means their nervous system needs support at a deeper level. Speech grows from the body up, not just from the mouth out.

By addressing retained reflexes, motor foundations and physiological stressors, such as gut dysbiosis, we can give the brain the conditions it needs to organise speech naturally. These are exactly the kind of areas we focus on at Brain Development. Our child development courses are designed specifically for children with autism, ADHD and development delays. 

And for many families, reaching new levels of understanding during our learning programs changes everything.